


Say Something

by shesbreathless



Series: schmico codas [9]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Arguing, I Don't Even Know, M/M, and then i caved in and added a bit of fluff, but i couldn't not have levi standing up for himself, i didn't like this episode like at all, it's angry fluff though, just go with it, levi standing up for himself, post 15x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 21:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18533320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesbreathless/pseuds/shesbreathless
Summary: “No, shut the fuck up,” Levi interrupts him before he even makes a sound. “You’ve already spoken enough to last you a week.”I try to give a decent ending to the shitshow that was 15x22.





	Say Something

It’s quiet down here, and it makes the noise in Levi’s head sound that much louder. He stares at the piece of tape stuck on the wall in front of him and tries to see past it, at the meaning it must be hiding from him, because there has to be something, somewhere, he’s missing.

Nobody really ever walks this way, so the hallway is blissfully empty. Levi is sitting on an unused bed, back against the wall, knees pulled up and chin propped up on them. He’s been frowning for so long his eyebrows are probably stuck this way forever.

He doesn’t feel like crying or screaming, he just wants to stay as still as possible and pretend like today didn’t happen. He’s mostly succeeding, if he ignores the deep ache settled heavy in his stomach. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he wants to throw up.

He’s about to get up and go test his theory in the closest bathroom, when Casey rounds the corner and approaches the same bed Levi’s sitting on with a look that says he’s done dealing with the world for today. Levi can relate.

They don’t greet each other, both past seeing the point of that, considering they see each other more than they don’t, what with basically living in this hospital and all. Casey hoists himself up on the bed, stretches his legs under the arch Levi’s make and loses himself in his phone.

A few minutes go by with neither of them speaking, but Levi barely notices. He’s too busy replaying Nico’s words over and over again in his mind, every time with a different explanation as to _why_ , but always with the same hurt tied to them.

He’s not doubting himself, because he knows he has no fault in any of this, but he still feels like absolute shit. Kind of like he’s been run over by a passive aggressive truck, more than once. And then dumped in a deep ditch of hopelessness.

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep that up.”

Levi’s almost startled by the sudden noise coming from Casey, but the only movement he makes is shifting his eyes from that same piece of tape over to Casey’s curious expression.

“I’m not in the mood for jokes, sorry,” he mumbles.

Casey stares at him for a few more seconds, then puts his phone down and crosses his hands behind his head with a sigh.

“I heard what happened,” he says, but doesn’t add anything else.

“Yeah,” Levi answers unhelpfully.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Casey tries.

“No.”

“Do you want to go for a drink?”

Levi thinks about it. Alcohol does sound like it would help. “Yeah,” he nods. “But there’s something I have to do first.”

He suddenly puts all of his muscles in motion, his knees complaining and his neck hurting from keeping it in an awkward position for so long, but he has a mission. He tugs his shirt down and takes a deep breath before gathering the things he’d spread on the bed and determinedly walking towards the stairs.

“I’ll meet you there, then!” Casey calls out after him.

-

He’s taken a tour around half the hospital and he’s threatened a couple of nurses to find out where Nico is, and he’s now standing in front of the closed on-call room door, considering whether he should storm in like he really wants to, or just knock like a normal person.

He opts for the way that will attract the least amount of attention, because that’s not what he’s after. He just wants to get this over with. And besides, him running around the hospital with a bouquet of pink flowers has probably made him more than noticeable.

“Come in,” Nico calls out from inside the room.

Levi takes a deep breath, then quickly opens the door and steps inside. Nico is sitting on one of the beds, legs crossed underneath himself and a bowl of what appears to be salad in his hands. He looks up at Levi with an annoyed expression.

“What,” he asks monotonously.

Levi scoffs and closes the door behind himself, standing in front of Nico with is head held high, both figuratively and literally. He carelessly throws the flowers on the bed next to Nico, then takes a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts before he speaks.

“You have every right to feel as guilty, and angry, and sad as you want, after the day you’ve had,” he starts calmly. “You can isolate yourself and do whatever you need to do to make sense of what happened. But you have no right to talk to me like that.”

Nico opens his mouth like he wants to say something, probably to justify himself and most likely to pick a screaming fight about this, but Levi will not let him.

“No, shut the fuck up,” Levi interrupts him before he even makes a sound. “You’ve already spoken enough to last you a week. Also I got you flowers because I thought they would make you feel better, so just shut up for a second.”

Hurt flashes in Nico’s eyes, and Levi feels its ache echo in his own guts. His purpose here isn’t to kick him while he’s down, but he has a point to make.

“You’re arrogant, incredibly full of yourself, you like to pretend everything you do is effortlessly perfect, and I’ve tried to be supportive, but I will not let you talk down to me like I’m just some intern you have to scold. And I will most certainly not let you insult me like you did today.”

Nico is fully listening, salad forgotten in his hands. He looks like he’s glad somebody else is taking charge, right now. Levi shuffles on his feet and wills his heart to slow down. He hates arguments.

“I’m a good doctor, and I’ve proved myself over and over again, both to you and to everybody in this hospital,” he continues with pride in his voice. “And I’m a great boyfriend if I do say so myself, so I know your problem is not with me.”

He runs his fingers in his hair, and Nico glances down at the flowers, the expression on his face softening.

“I do not let failure define me. I am not ‘glasses’, or ‘blood bank’ anymore. I never was. I raised above the people trying to put me down when I made a mistake, and used those opportunities to learn and better myself. So don’t you dare say something like that to me again.”

The anger bubbling in his stomach has started to calm down and turn into weariness, so Levi takes one last deep breath, considers the sad slump of Nico’s shoulders, and thinks about his next words carefully.

“I love you,” he breathes. “I really do. But you’ve been acting like a humongous asshole, and I don’t deserve that. So I hope you can see today not as the failure you think it is, but as the opportunity to learn that there’s nothing wrong in admitting that you’re not perfect.”

His voice is starting to waver, so he takes one step back and sets one hand on the door handle.

“Now I’m going to spend some time with my friends, and you’re going to go home and sleep, because we’re going to have to talk about this, but not now. Mostly because I don’t really want to see or hear from you right now, but also because you need time by yourself. Bye, Nico.”

He turns on his heels and steps outside, closing the door behind himself with a soft click. He feels lighter, but he also feels like drinking his body weight in alcohol, so that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

He cracks his head side to side, then sets off in the direction of the bar, where Casey is waiting for him. Maybe if he looks miserable enough, he’ll get a free beer out of him.

-

The door creaks loudly, no matter how much Levi tries to avoid it. The noise echoes in the silent apartment, which looks eerie with all the lights turned off. The only sign that Nico is home is his shoes neatly lined up by the wall.

Levi kicks off his own shoes, not really caring where they end up. He dares Nico to complain about that after today.

He pops his head in the living room, making sure that Nico is not sleeping on the couch. The flowers Levi had basically thrown at him earlier are now standing in a nice vase full of water, in the middle of the coffee table.

His hear flips inside his chest and he wants nothing more than to sit down and cry. With a shake of his head he takes to the stairs and heads to the bedroom, making as little noise as possible in the meantime.

The door to the bedroom is halfway open, as if in an invitation to come in. Levi is most likely reading too much into it. His head swims with the drinks Casey had kept coming even after Levi had already cried, and then screamed, and then cried again, and he’s tired.

Nico is lying on his side, facing away from the door, and he’s wrapped himself around a big, fluffy pillow. Levi can’t see his face, but he can tell he’s not sleeping.

“Hey,” Levi says quietly, already taking off his clothes.

Slowly sitting up, Nico turns around, pillow still clutched in his arms. His eyes are puffy, he’s obviously been crying, and Levi’s heart clenches at the sight. This situation is so fucked up.

“I didn’t think you’d come home,” Nico says as he rubs his eyes with his fists.

Levi had thought about it, going to his mom’s for a few days to brood and feel sorry for himself, but he didn’t want to, simple as that. As mad and offended as he is, he wanted to make sure that Nico was okay. It has been a horrible day for both of them after all.

“I’m here,” Levi answers.

It sounds like it means more than it actually does, but he doesn’t mind it. Nico nods and watches him get ready for bed in silence, most likely at a loss for words. There’s a lone tear making its way down his cheek as well.

Levi stops by the bathroom, brushes his teeth, then finally steps out and sits down on the bed.

He takes a deep breath and dares looking Nico in the eye. He makes a pretty miserable picture, and Levi is sure he’s not that far behind him. They look each other in the eye for longer than would normally be comfortable, and it’s like they’re silently asking each other the same question.

“It’s not all magically okay,” Levi says.

“Of course,” Nico nods. “We need to have a good talk. About everything.”

“Everything?” a pang of anxiety shoots through Levi.

“Not in a bad way, just,” Nico shrugs. “Today, San Francisco…”

Levi feels his already racing heart calm down. They’re on the same page, no need to worry.

“Yeah. Talk like adults, no joking, or avoiding, or anything like that.”

Nico presses his lips in a hard line, but he just nods and looks down at his hands. Levi watches him, and his head is starting to hurt. He just wants to sleep.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he decides, fitting his legs underneath the duvet.

He wiggles down until he’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling with his arms straight down his sides. He could have slept anywhere else to avoid exactly this moment of awkwardness, but then he hears Nico sniffle while he lies back down on his side, and he knows he made the right decision.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks, voice low.

“I don’t know,” Nico answers honestly.

Levi only has to think about it for a second before he’s reaching one arm around Nico’s waist and fitting his chest to Nico’s back, holding him tightly. They might not be in the best place right now, but he’s never going to refuse somebody comfort, no matter how mad he is.

Nico takes a shaky breath and hiccups a couple of times, but eventually settles down. Levi wants to have a good cry himself, but he’s sure they’ll both have all the time tomorrow. For now, he lets his eyes fall closed and puts an end to this hell of a day.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not taking anyone’s sides or justifying anybody’s behaviour, but I do believe that life is easier when you’re willing to set aside rash emotions like anger, and think about what is actually going on before you decide how to react. Your point of view is not the absolute truth, and everything is clearer when you consider the other person’s before acting. Maybe it’s just me, but I hate unnecessary drama. Of course, the writers of this show don’t agree with me, but that’s what fanfiction is for lol
> 
> Also, the flowers thing comes from Levi’s cameo in episode 2x14 of Station 19! It was a nice little addition that actually made me feel better about the whole thing, and seeing Levi being thoughtful and caring is definitely something that makes me relate to him that much more lol
> 
> If you liked this, let me know with a comment or hit me up on [Tumblr](https://shesbreathless.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
